Alright, alright, let’s talk about this… uh… “lotr fantasy football names” thing. I don’t know much about this fancy football, ya know? Back in my day, we just kicked a ball around the field, no need for all this “fantasy” stuff. But my grandson, he’s all into it. Always yappin’ about his team and them “points” and whatnot.
So, he asked me for some names, somethin’ from that “Lord of the Rings” thing he watches. Said it’s gotta be strong, gotta be…memorable, I think he said. Well, I watched a bit of that show with him, all that hobbits and elves and whatnot. Don’t understand half of it, but I got some ideas, you betcha.
Strong Names, Like Bull in a China Shop:
- The Mordor Maulers: Mordor, that’s where the bad guys live, right? Maulers, that means they gonna beat ya good.
- The Uruk-hai Crushers: Them Uruk-hai, they’re big and mean. Crushers, well, that’s what they do, ain’t it?
- Gimli’s Ax-Wielders: That Gimli fella, he’s got a big ol’ ax. Good for choppin’ wood, and probably good for choppin’ down the other teams, too.
- The Balrog Brawlers: Balrog, that fire monster thing? Yeah, you don’t wanna mess with a brawler like that.
- Shelob’s Web Spinners: That spider, Shelob, she’s sneaky. Web spinners, that means they gonna trap ya.
My grandson, he likes them tough names. Says it makes the other fellas scared. I told him, “Boy, it ain’t the name that wins the game, it’s the playin’!” But he just waves me off, says it’s part of the “strategy.” Kids these days, with their strategies.
Funny Names, Like a Tickle in Your Ribs:
But then he says, sometimes you gotta be funny, gotta throw ’em off. So I thought up some of those, too.
- The Prancing Ponies: Remember that inn, the Prancing Pony? Sounds kinda silly, doesn’t it? But maybe that’s the point!
- The Shire Shufflers: Them hobbits, they like to eat and drink and shuffle their feet. Not exactly scary, but maybe surprising.
- The Gollum’s Precious Receivers: That Gollum fella, always talkin’ about his “precious.” Maybe these receivers are precious to the team?
- The Samwise Gamgee Gardeners: That Samwise, he’s a good fella, likes his garden. Maybe he can grow some wins!
- The Merry and Pippin’s Pints: Always eating and drinking, those two. Maybe they can drink the other teams under the table!
I don’t know if these are any good, mind you. Like I said, I don’t get this whole fantasy football thing. But my grandson, he seemed to like ’em. He wrote ’em all down in that fancy notebook he carries around, all full of numbers and names.
Some More Names, Just ‘Cause:
And then I just started thinkin’ of names, you know, just popped into my head. Like when you’re knittin’ and your fingers just go, and you don’t even think about it. So here’s a few more, for good measure.
- The Ringwraiths Riders: Spooky fellas, those Ringwraiths. Riding into battle, looking for the ring, or maybe a touchdown?
- The Fellowship of the Field: Like that fellowship they had, but on a football field instead. Makes sense, kinda.
- The Two Towers Tacklers: Them towers, they’re big and strong. These tacklers, they gotta be tough too.
- The Return of the Running Backs: Like that movie title, but about running backs instead. Clever, eh?
- The Battle of Five Yard Lines: Instead of five armies, it’s five yard lines. That’s where the fightin’ happens, right?
So there you have it. A whole mess of names, all from that Lord of the Rings thing. Hope they help my grandson win his game, whatever that means. And if not, well, at least he’ll have a good laugh, right? That’s what matters, I reckon, havin’ a bit of fun, even if it’s with hobbits and elves and fantasy football.
And don’t forget, a good name ain’t everything. You gotta have a good team too, a bunch of fellas who work hard and don’t give up. And maybe a bit of luck, too. Luck always helps.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go make some dinner. All this talk about football and fantasy has made me hungry.
Tags: [Fantasy Football, Lord of the Rings, LOTR, Team Names, Funny Names, Strong Names, Football, Strategy, Tolkien]
