Well now, let me tell ya about these Lords of the Fallen bosses, and in what order they show their ugly mugs. It ain’t easy, you know, this fightin’ and such. But someone’s gotta do it, and that someone’s me, I guess.
First off, ya got this Holy Bulwark Otto fella. He’s kinda like the warm-up act, ya see? Like when ya gotta stretch a bit before ya start diggin’ in the garden. He ain’t too tough, but he teaches ya the ropes, so ya don’t go gettin’ yerself killed right off the bat. Games these days, they like to ease ya in, not like the old days when ya just got thrown to the wolves.
Then comes a whole mess of ’em. I ain’t gonna lie, I can’t rightly remember all their names. There’s so many, and they all look so darn scary! But I’ll tell ya what I do remember, and that’s how to beat ’em, or at least how I managed to beat ’em. Took me a few tries for some, let me tell ya.
- One fella, the Congregator of Flesh, he was a big ol’ pile of somethin’ nasty. Looked like a whole bunch of folks got stuck together, real bloody and gross. But he weren’t too smart, that one. His moves were slow, like he was thinkin’ real hard about what to do next. Easy peasy, I got him on the first try, no sweat. Just gotta watch out for when he swings them big ol’ arms around.
- Now, some of these other fellas, they ain’t so simple. They got fancy moves, and they hit like a mule kickin’. Ya gotta be quick on yer feet, and ya gotta know when to duck and when to swing. It’s like dancin’, but with more blood and less laughin’.
I heard tell that there’s this here Adyr, the Bereft Exile. Folks say he’s the last boss, the big cheese, ya know? He hangs out in some place called the Rhogar Realm, whatever that is. Sounds fancy, but I bet it’s just another dark and scary place filled with things that want to eat ya.
To get to this Adyr fella, ya gotta beat another guy first, The Sundered Monarch. Sounds like a king who got broke into pieces, if ya ask me. I ain’t met him yet, but I reckon he ain’t gonna be a walk in the park. These big bosses, they always gotta be tough, makin’ things hard for folks like me.
The whole thing takes place in some town called Mournstead. Sounds like a sad place, with all the mournin’ and such. I guess it would be, with all these monsters runnin’ around. I bet they don’t have no festivals there, just a whole lot of fightin’ and dyin’. Poor folks, livin’ in a place like that.
Lords of the Fallen boss order ain’t somethin’ ya just memorize, ya know? It’s somethin’ ya gotta experience. Ya gotta go through the muck and the blood and the sweat to really understand it. And even then, ya might forget a few. It’s like tryin’ to remember every weed ya pulled out of the garden last summer, just ain’t gonna happen.
But the important thing is, ya keep tryin’. Ya keep swingin’ that sword, or whatever weapon ya got. Ya keep learnin’ from yer mistakes. And eventually, ya make yer way through the whole darn game, beatin’ all the bosses, even the really tough ones. That’s how it goes, in these kinda games, and in life too, I reckon.
So, if you’re lookin’ for a boss order list, there’s plenty of ’em online, I hear. Them young folks with their fancy computers, they got it all figured out. But for me, I just go in swingin’ and hopin’ for the best. It ain’t always pretty, but it gets the job done, most of the time.
And if ya get stuck, don’t ya worry none. Just take a break, go have a cup of tea, and then come back swingin’. That’s what I do, and I ain’t done too bad, if I do say so myself. Now, where’d I put that darn sword…?
Remember, keep yer eyes peeled, yer reflexes sharp, and yer heart strong. These bosses ain’t gonna beat themselves, ya know. And who knows, maybe you’ll even find some enjoyment in all the chaos. I sure do, sometimes, when I ain’t gettin’ my butt kicked too hard, that is. Lords of the fallen bosses are tough, but not tougher than me, I reckon!
