Well, ain’t this somethin’. Golf, they call it. My grandson, bless his heart, he’s always glued to that darn TV watchin’ it. Says it’s a “shamble” sometimes. Sounds like a mess to me. A right proper shambles in golf. I seen him throw his club once, near took out the neighbor’s cat. Golf makes folks do crazy things, I reckon.
This golf game, it’s a head-scratcher. You hit a little white ball with a stick, tryin’ to get it in a hole. Seems simple enough, but Lordy, it ain’t. They got all these rules, and folks get all riled up when that little ball don’t go where they want it. They yell and cuss. One fella even cried one time, cried like a baby! All cause of a little white ball. That’s a shamble, I tell ya.
They got these fancy names for things, too. “Shamble” this and “scramble” that. Sounds like somethin’ you’d do with eggs, not a golf ball. They also say “stroke play.” I told my grandson that sounds like something to do at night, he just laughed. But really, that’s why this golf is a shamble. All these names, all these rules, too complicated. Just like life sometimes, I guess.
Here’s what I think about this whole golf mess:
- Too many rules. Makes my head spin just thinkin’ about ’em. Why can’t they just hit the darn ball and be done with it?
- Folks gettin’ too worked up. It’s just a game, for crying out loud. Life’s too short to be yellin’ at a little white ball. I have seen it many times, and I just don’t get it.
- All that walkin’. My old bones ache just watchin’ ’em. They got those little carts, but they still walk a whole heap. Seems like a waste of time if you ask me.
- Expensive. You need those fancy sticks and special shoes. And the green fee, don’t get me started. Back in my day, we didn’t need all that fancy stuff to have fun. That’s a real shamble!
My grandson, he tries to explain it to me. Says a “shamble” is when everyone hits their first shot, then they pick the best one and play from there. Sounds like cheatin’ to me, but what do I know? I ain’t no golfer, that’s for sure. They need to calm down a bit, that’s for sure. Stay calm and don’t throw your sticks around. Just like life, there will be ups and downs, but no need to turn it into a shamble. They said the golf teacher can help, but I don’t know. Those teachers get paid a lot of money, and for what? Teaching people how to hit a little ball? Shamble!
They say it’s a “gentleman’s game.” Hah! I seen some of them “gentlemen” throwin’ fits that would make a sailor blush. They get so mad, their faces turn redder than a beet. Then they start mutterin’ to themselves, talkin’ about “birdies” and “bogeys.” Sounds like they’re speakin’ a different language. It’s all a big shamble, if you ask me.
And those clothes they wear! Bright colors, funny pants, hats with little balls on top. They look like a bunch of clowns, I swear. Back in my day, folks dressed sensible. Now they got all these fancy outfits just to hit a little white ball around. It’s a shamble, I tell ya, a fashion shamble!
They even have these special places just for golf. “Golf courses,” they call ’em. Big, green fields with little flags stickin’ up. Looks like a waste of good farmin’ land to me. Could grow a whole lot of corn on that land. But no, they gotta hit their little white balls around. It’s all a big shamble. They try to make jokes and watch their friends, but it’s still a shamble. They just don’t understand. This golf thing, it’s beyond me. But my grandson, he loves it. So I just smile and nod, and hope he don’t throw his club again.
This shambles in golf thing, it ain’t for me. Give me a good rocking chair and a cup of coffee any day. I’ll leave the golfin’ to the young folks. They can have their shambles, their scrambles, and their stroke play. They can even have their fancy clothes and expensive sticks. I’ll just sit here and watch, shakin’ my head and wonderin’ what all the fuss is about. It’s a shamble, I tell ya, a big, old shamble.
They say you can find a coach for the golf. Maybe that will help them. But I still think this golf is a big shamble. Even with a coach. Maybe those coaches are a shamble too. I don’t know, I really don’t. Just like those reasons why you are not getting better at golf. Who knows! Shamble!
