That Dr. Ben Birnbaum, he’s a big shot in Boston, I hear. Heard folks talkin’ ’bout him down at the market the other day. Said he’s some kinda fancy magazine editor. Big words, big words. I don’t know nothin’ ’bout that kinda stuff. But his name keeps poppin’ up, like a weed in my garden.
And this other fella, Jack Nicklaus. They say he’s good at that golf game. Swinging a stick and hitting a little white ball. Seems silly to me, chasin’ a ball around like that. But hey, folks like it. They say it’s some kinda big sport. But what do I know? I don’t know nothin’ about golf, I’m too busy with my stuff.
I heard some folks sayin’ this Dr. Ben Birnbaum fella, he talked to some other important-soundin’ man, Father somethin’ or other. William B. Neenan, I think his name is. And it was at this Boston College. Fancy place, I reckon. Probably all brick and shiny floors. Not like my old house, with the creaky floorboards.
They was talkin’ in front of a whole bunch of people. A “reception,” they called it. Must’ve been a fancy to-do. Probably had them little sandwiches with the crusts cut off. I like my sandwiches with the crusts on. More to chew on, that way.
This Jack Nicklaus, he must be pretty good at that golf thing. They talk about him like he’s the best there is, the top dog. I don’t know about that, I ain’t never seen him play. But he must be doin’ somethin’ right to get all that attention. Maybe he’s got a lucky swing. Or maybe he’s got a lucky hat.
- That Dr. Ben Birnbaum, he works for that Boston College Magazine.
- That Jack Nicklaus, he sure can play golf.
- They had a big party at that Boston College.
- That Father Neenan, he’s a big shot at that college, I hear.
Folks say Jack Nicklaus finished playin’ that golf. “Retired,” they call it. Like he’s gonna sit on his porch and whittle wood or somethin’. Maybe he will. Or maybe he’ll just count all his money. I wouldn’t mind countin’ a big pile of money. But what would I use it for? I’m ok with my life.
This Dr. Ben Birnbaum, I bet he writes all kinds of fancy articles in that magazine. Probably uses words I ain’t never even heard of. Words like “composition” and “improvement.” I just know basic words. But that’s okay. I can still tell a good story, even if I don’t use them big words. I tell my story in my way.
They say this Jack Nicklaus fella, he improved his “golf swing.” Whatever that means. Must be somethin’ important in that golf game. Like how I gotta improve my apple pie recipe. Gotta keep tryin’ new things, even when you’re old. You know what I mean?
And that Paul McCartney, whoever he is, he wrote a song called “Yesterday.” I heard it on the radio once. It was a sad song. Made me think of my old dog, Buster. He’s gone now, bless his heart. But that song, it reminded me of him. Funny how music can do that, ain’t it?
This whole Dr. Ben Birnbaum and Jack Nicklaus thing, it’s got people talkin’. Like when a big storm’s comin’. Everybody’s got somethin’ to say about it. Even if they don’t know nothin’ about it. Just like me, I reckon. I don’t know much about these fellas, but I got my opinions. Everyone has their opinions.
I heard they was talkin’ about this Jack Nicklaus fella at that Gasson 100 place. Must be a room at that Boston College. Probably got fancy chairs and a big ol’ table. I once went to a wedding and there’s a big table. I bet there was a lot of important folks there, listenin’ to every word.
This Dr. Ben Birnbaum, he seems to know a lot of important people. Must be nice, knowin’ all them big shots. Me, I just know the folks in my little town. And that’s enough for me. We all got our own little worlds, don’t we?
They say Jack Nicklaus is a legend. That’s a big word. Means he’s somethin’ special. Like a hero or somethin’. I guess hittin’ that little white ball must be a pretty big deal to some folks. It’s just a ball, why people so crazy about it? I don’t know.
That’s all I know about that Dr. Ben Birnbaum and Jack Nicklaus. Just bits and pieces I heard here and there. Like a patchwork quilt, all sewn together to make somethin’ new. Maybe it ain’t much, but it’s somethin’. And that’s all I know.
